Mi novia, Mi amor, Mi vida!!!

Every. Single. Day.

Walking around in BsAs as a tall, pale, freckled, blue-eyed woman is challenging. I stand out. I can't seem to blend in with the crowd, especially on public transport, and especially when I start to speak. Therefore, I attract a lot of unwanted attention.

I don't stand out like this:



But I do stand out like this:

(that's your mom..just kidding, it's mine)

In Argentina cat-calling is akin to Italy: Men do it and it's accepted. Sometimes it's just an air kiss, sometimes it's simply a whistle, but other times it's an all out continual yell. I try to avoid certain areas, no offense to the construction men reading this, but eff yeah, construction sites. If I feel an uncomfortable situation coming on, sometimes I cross the street to avoid it.

Typical cat-calls are (in English): My love!; My girlfriend!; You are so beautiful!; Hey gringa!

Atypical cat-calls are (in English): (Men unloading a coca-cola truck) You are so beautiful, if you were with me, I'd give you coca-cola everyday!; Will you marry me?; Your eyes light up my day

The latter, of course, are appreciated and can really make a bad day a bit better. The former, however, are unoriginal and simply embarrassing for both parties. Get a grip and come up with a better line because this gringa has heard it all, jerk.

You're So Vain

You probably think this post is about you.

I follow GrouponBA on twitter (whoa, whoa too much?). I'll start over. GrouponBA, like Groupon, has discounted coupons that numerous people buy, hence the company agreeing to the discount. They have a twitter handle (you know twitter, come on now), that I follow.

GrouponDC was fantastic, for the most part. Discounted tours, culture, of course there were hair salons, etc. But GrouponBA is a whole new game. The majority of the coupons are for something to do with vanity.

Most BA Groupons consist of:

• Hair removal
• Botox
• Lipo
• Salons
• Facial treatments
• Exercise classes
• Natural Food
• Teeth whitening

DC had those once in a while, and I know I know, that sort of thing is almost wasted on that town, but really BA, stop giving me a complex! I mean really.

Getting Around in BsAs

Disclaimer: This post will not be helpful to anyone moving to Buenos Aires. It is simpy to explain how I have been using transportation thus far and, more importantly, to keep this blog going. So here in the warm side of the world, there are various forms of transport. Near me, I have the option of cab, train, bus or subte (metro). Yes, I said train. To get around. The collectivos (buses) apparently go everywhere and are supposed to be fanstically amazing. However, I have yet to ride one unsupervised, so I still haven't mastered what is going on there.

What I do have a note from my mom to ride alone is the subte, or the BsAs metro line. I live on the green line, which apparently here is called the D line, but come on, I've lived in DC for so long AND the lines are color coded anyway. You're just asking me to call it the green line. Don't even get me started on how terrible the metro is mapped out, hence the great buses. Anyway, to get to work I ride the green line pretty much to the end, all the way downtown.

Now, I'm not going to complain about the ferocious heat in the subte (think DC summer but ALL the cars are without airconditioning) or how crowded it gets, because it's a city and I live here and whatnot. But, what really gets me is the subte etiquette, far far different from my apparent world of politeness I lived through in DC. The subte cars here are set up like any other metro, seats lining the outer part of the car and standing room in the middle. Tidbit: in DC I have been flagged down someone allowing me to sit instead of them, because I am a lady. Here, not only is that absolutely not the case, but it is so far from it. People don't even get up to allow older people to sit down. My age men (boys really for this behavior) will sit while me and older women stand in front of them for the entire metro ride.

Whats really annoying is that I constantly give up my seat out of guilt, so I end up standing the entire metro ride. And this isn't a metro center to farragut north metro ride, I take it nine stops. Twice a day. My Spanish isn't quite up to the level to give lectures about letting older women sit, but once it is..watch out portenos on the green line.

Kissing in the Workplace

I’m sure you are all wondering what this post is about. So in different cultures there are different customs. And in Argentina, it is customary to kiss someone once on the cheek when you see them. I’m totally fine with kissing my friends when we see each other, but then you kiss on the cheek goodbye too. You also kiss people that you are introduced to (friends of friends), and really, anyone you sort of know. Again, fine with all of this.

Recently, however, I started teaching English at another company, as I’m beyond broke. They were beyond desperate because they hired me on the spot. Seriously, I can PR myself anywhere. So I started the next day. Cut to the next day: In walks my male boss. And, you guessed it - he kisses me on the check. Little project: everyone imagine walking into work on Monday and kissing your boss. This is even more understood if you are female and he is male (glass ceiling, I know). It’s weird! It’s just weird. And, of course, we had to kiss goodbye as well. Now what makes me so giggly about all of it is that every time it happens (twice a day Mon-Fri), I picture this custom in the US. Specifically with my former male boss and it makes me laugh.

But no, it’s totally normal here. Sidenote: our neighbors just came over to see our kitchen (or something, it was all in Spanish), and I kissed the man too. I guess the handshake just never really caught on here…

The Good, The Bad: Argentina so far

These are my top favorite and least favorite things about Buenos Aires so far.

The Bad

5. Nobody taught me the different way to pronounce the double L. So..thanks Spanish teachers. You say: Sho soy de los Estados Unidos. Es muy dificil.

4. There’s a show called “Ugly Americans”. It’s not even Los Americanos feos; it’s literally called “Ugly Americans”. It’s also in Spanish and a cartoon.

3. My elevator is so f*ing loud, I can hear it through the walls at all hours. What up with that?

2. And whats is up with all of this ham?? Jamon this, jamon that. Jamon, Jamon, Jamon!

1. What takes the numero uno spot? LOS FUMADORES. It’s “illegal” to smoke in bars and clubs, but people still do. Every time I get home from going out, I hang my clothes in this outside are to attempt to rid them of the horrible smell. Also fire hazard much?

The Good

5. I have a TV channel ‘Animax’ that shows old episodes of 90210 (the REAL 90210) all the time. Also fan favorites on said channel are: Celebrity Deathmatch AND Clueless, the TV show.

4. Sugar in the pop! Yes I saw pop and yes candy feigns it’s REAL sugar. I really only drink pop abroad; I have a very refined palate.

3. Late hours: get up not early, stay up late, livin the vida. But not this week, I have espanol class at 8:30am. I said am.

2. Empanadas: soon to be my downfall.

1. It’s SUMMER and WARM! Enjoy winter, suckers. While I won’t be sporting a tan, I may try to get a nice little sunburn before Christmas.

I Have a Home

I have so many posts to write, so I’ll start with finding an apartment, which I did – shoop! I am living in Palermo, which is a great neighborhood in Buenos Aires. My friend and I scored an amazing deal on the 18^th floor of an apartment building. All those afraid of elevators: rethink your trip, because I have to take it and it’s a little scary. It’s one of those ones that you have to close with a gate and drops suddenly. But eh, I’m getting used to it.

It’s a two-bedroom with a living room area and small kitchen. There’s a small outside-ish area where we can wash our clothes, but so far all I’ve used it for is to air out my clothes, because, sigh, you can smoke in bars/restaurants. Anyway, I love it – it’s clean, nice and has cable. I may or may not have watched a Teen Mom Season 1 marathon on MTV on Sunday. May or may not. I get a bunch of channels that are sometimes dubbed, sometimes not – so it’s not too reliable, but come on now, this American needs some entertainment for a year.

There are a lot of restaurants, stores, etc nearby and it’s close to a metro, which I have learned to ride. I have also fallen over in the metro station, so that’s great too. Huge bruise. Anyway, I will be better at blogging, but so far BA is great!

I'm Here!

My first impressions of Buenos Aires are pretty good! It’s a little colder than I’d like, but I know I know, I’m heading into summer. Anyway, here are things I noticed – enjoy!

1. Timing is completely different. You probably know this, but everything is later. As one of my guidebooks says, the earliest you can go to dinner is 8pm, the earliest to a bar is midnight and the earliest to a club is 2am. Going any earlier is “simply not cool” – their words, not mine. So after waiting until 8:30pm to get dinner, I realized they’re right! To remedy the situation I slept until noon today, because I mean who wants to be “simply not cool”.

2. Looks are very important. I come from DC, where…not to be rude…but looks are not important. Have you watched C-SPAN? I mean, really. In BA, however, it is “socially unacceptable” to be overweight (guidebook, not me), women are dressed up always and appearances are kept. I haven’t really experienced this to the fullest, and I honestly don’t think people are any better looking here than in NYC, but it’s only been a day.

3. I will be a lot better at Spanish when I return to the US. I just will.

Much more to come, but I haven’t been able to find an appropriate adapter, so my computer will die soon.